Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
