i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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