you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
not ubering you a puppy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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