what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
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Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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