Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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