That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
