so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
