Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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