420 ftw
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
