I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize