Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
