do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
