maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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