I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
