I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
