im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
