dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
