So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
