sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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