i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
