when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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