I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
