man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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