two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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