haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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