the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
