I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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