is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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