Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
