Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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