Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
