almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
