Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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