I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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