mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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