I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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