Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
