Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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