I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
