Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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