Sry I called you an 8
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
