He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
