so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
