1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
