my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
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