I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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