Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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