come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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