and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize