you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She told me I should be a condom model.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
