I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
