walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
