I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
