I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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