Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
