At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
