I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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