Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
