he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
