It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
