started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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