I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
