Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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