I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
