xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
