i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
