Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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